The extra-ordinarily ordinary superheros: Fictional accounts of events that have not, and will not happen at any point in the near, or far reaching future.

Harold Winterbottom

This story seeks to provide an accurate account of the events immediately following Harold’s discovery of his ability to fly.

Harold Winterbottom was a bored, balding accountant who worked in a big brick building with the dimensions of a particularly boring cube. He lived in a smaller brick cube with his wife Mavis Winterbottom.

One sunny afternoon whilst clipping the hedges enclosing his front yard he found himself floating several inches above the ground. Leaving the hedges for another afternoon he instead rolly-pollied about in mid air until Mavis arrived home.
more…

Wanda Seacrest

Wanda Seacrest was a plump 30 something baker who lived on the posh side of town with her perfect long-term boyfriend Bill. Wanda’s house was a white Edwardian style cottage trimmed with dark green, and surrounded by jasmine. It was her dream house.

The white and green house reflected Wanda, as she favoured green clothing with white accents, and often used jasmine based perfume. Wanda thought herself very fortunate to have found it - always fortunate, but NEVER lucky. She didn’t believe in luck and coincidences.
more…

Harold holds an interview.

Captain Harold Steel was having a shit-awful day.

That morning his divorce papers had arrived, bearing Mavis’s signature and a small ticking package from her mad Russian Scientist boyfriend. A quick call to the people at the bomb disposal unit revealed that the package was as he suspected -a ticking alarm clock set to go off every morning at 2am and a framed photo.

Harold suspected that Mavis was trying to rub his nose in her new relationship, as the photo was of her boyfriend posing nude with nothing but a see-through test tube to preserve his dignity.
more…

Wilbert and Edgar form a crime fighting organisation.

That morning Wilbert didn’t think that he would be ending the day with a new super power. He certainly didn’t think that he’d be ending it as a member in a newly formed crime fighting organisation. In fact that morning he was sitting at the bus stop on the corner of his street trying very hard to ignore his new superpower and crime fighting organisations.

The 44 bus was late again.

The old man next to him seemed to be trying to get his attention discreetly, but Wilbert wasn’t falling for that again. Last time he’d struck up a conversation with a pensioner she’d forced him to carry eight bags of groceries five blocks and up three sets of stairs while she prattled on about her grandchildren. Wilbert was not going to be tricked into that again.
more…