Leaf, probably…

Fuckety fuck fuck fuck. Trying to put together a research paper proposal and its just not… what I imagine it should be like. Its not like we have any clear guidelines here, so I’m stuck with imagining some.

Does a research paper have the same focus on setting up a conclusicve argument that an essay does? I get that its research based… and I guess you’d have to have some sort of argument.. or prove some sort of point….

So far I have that I’m looking at the advantages and disadvantages of Australia banning NZ apples, in terms of liberalism and protectionism… but do I have to go a step further and decide if liberalism or protectionism is the best way to go here?

Not to mention the fact that I’m not quite sure that protectionism is a valid paradigm I know Libralism is.

FUCK.

Pondering the big things in life…. « Thoughts of Queen bitch 

I TOLD you. Its weird. Stacey can’t figure out whether it’s good either. So we’re both going to be sitting here saying “I just ate some WEIRD muesli” and people are going to be calling us weird.

So. I’m sitting at my desk eating Hubbard’s Feijoa Muesli. Because I’m bored you see. When I’m bored I eat, and I decided muesli was the better alternative to the giant banana cake Inez made and brought to work for show and tell (and eat.)

Feijoa muesli is weird. It’s got bananas, Feijoa, and something orange and far too sweet for muesli like pawpaw. I’m pretty sure it’s pawpaw.

I am confused. Its sweet, but Muesli. And it’s Banana-ish but Feijoa-ish. Those are not two flavours I’d usually pair together… But here I am eating it. I can’t decide whether I like it or whether it is disgusting. What if it’s disgusting and I don’t realise until I finish the bowl?

Then I’d be all “Ew gross I just ate a whole bowl of disgusting Muesli.”

And everyone else would be like: “What? Muesli isn’t disgusting. It’s the perfect bland food.”

And I’d say: “No, it was like some sort of muesli/ flavoured cereal hybrid, far too sweet and flavoury.”

And they’d ask: “Why did you eat a whole bowl of disgusting muesli-cereal?”

And then I’d say: “Well I didn’t realise it was disgusting until I had eaten it.”

And then everybody would be all: “You’re so weird.”

** Updated to add: Oh no, I’ve eaten it all and still can’t decide. Someone take pity on me and buy a box. Let me know what you think. Is it gross and foul or is it a sublime melding of flavours???

I can not deceive you any longer. New Zealander’s have been lying to you for hundreds of years now, and it’s just not right. We’ve got to come clean.

New Zealand is a part of Australia. John Howard is our PM. Helen Clark is John Howard in drag. It’s all part of an elaborate practical joke on you guys. We think it’s hilarious that you fell for it.

All those times we do the Haka? We’re just wanting an excuse to yell profanity at you and stick out our tongues.

We are raising an army of mutant zombie sheep to take over the world. Black Sheep wasn’t a movie, it was a documentary.

In this untouched land it is still uncommon to find automobiles. Instead we use horses, mutant zombie sheep, and whales to get around. The whales are being trained to aid us in the invasion of your country when sea levels rise as a result of global warming. That’s why we’re so pissed off about Japan eating them.

Lord of the Rings was actually written as a history of New Zealand before Tolkien decided to spice up the name. In our native language ‘New Zealand’ translates to ‘Middle Earth’. We are raising an army of Orcs to destroy you.

You can’t ever find us on the map because we have hidden our country under a giant waterproof dome in the Pacific Ocean. Good luck with global warming and rising sea levels suckahs, we’re prepared, are you?

We feel much better now that you know the truth, and regret that the unleashing of the zombie sheep, especially, can not be avoided. With kind regards and great affection,

Yours,

New Zealand

I’m having a hard time getting myself in to gear at work. Everyone else is doing their part, and they seem to be happy enough. Our office is a fun place to be. I just can’t seem to make myself do the work. Meanwhile my letters and filing are piling up on my desk and I make ignoring them an art form.

I think part of my problem is that I’m in a job that offers me very little in the way of excitement. I know that at 9am every morning I’ll be opening letters. At 11am I’ll be collecting papers. At 2pm I’ll be eating a tuna cheese toasted sandwich while filling in generic acknowledgement letters.

And the emails! I have to read some of the most soul destroying shit from scary religious people, right wing nut-jobs, rabid anti-abortionists, and other people that shouldn’t be outside of a mental ward for dangerous people, just because no one uses clear subject lines these days. That’s probably the part of my job I hate the most.

It seems like everyone else is being offered jobs in interesting places, and exploring their potentials. I, however, am sitting behind my stupidly tidy desk, treading water. Paul keeps offering me more responsibility, but I’m pretty certain that ‘more responsibility’ just means more letters to more people that I don’t particularly want to write to.

I know that staying here is probably essential to me finishing my degree. So I’m either in for 3-4 more years of this boring shit, or I’m going to stress the heck out of myself by trying to take on more to alleviate the boredom. Neither of them seems like much fun at all, and so my work piles up because I’m in that ‘what is the point?’ mindset.